February's Post Velentine Day Massacre

First Game: Space 1999. Ah the past! Wait ...the future ...no ...OK ...got it ...the past's vision of the future today! Basically this one was Chinese Checkers with the addition of a mad swirling vortex of interstellar galaxies spinning and whirling in the center of the board. Helena! Get my blaster! Not as entertaining as the TV show it's supposedly based on but still ...far from the worst game the gang has been subjected to. Professor Link showed us all how to land the Eagles. A successful choice for play, played successfully. I lost.

Second Game: Oh Nuts! So how appropraite is this for a game club? Four players grasp plastic walnuts from a tree trunk made of the same material and attempt to find colored

marbles hidden within all while fibbing to opponents about what they've got. Dumb? You betcha! Fun? Surprisingly so! Greg 'cracked' this one wide open leaving the rest of us to feel like 'shells' of ourselves! Dr. Kirby picked this '60's era gem up a gargage sale in the free box! Luck of the Squirrely! I lost again.

Third Game: How to succeed in business without really trying. Wow! At last a game of practical advice

for making it in the high powered world of Corporations!

Players work their way up through office levels to become the Chairman of the Bored. No ...wait ...B-O-A-R-D. This one was actually fun too, with many trips back to square one as each player stabbed and throttled the other in an attempt to reach the ultimate goal. The gamesters, not being total dopes, let the new guy win. Great play Dennis, We all hope it's not too lonely at the top! As for the bottom, yours truly managed to lose all three games. Hmm Got to work on my connivance! Positive reviews for this one all around.

Set the WABAC machine for ...

Many young people ask me, "Mr. Board (or Mr. Room, whatever), is Game Night just a recent phenomenon or is it a venerable institution with a rich and colorful history?" Whippersnappers. Where do they get their vocabulary these days? Anyway, the answer is "Yes". Now where did I put my glasses? What? Oh, right. Game Night does indeed have a long association with its undisclosed location.

Records are sketchy (and often scratchy) but a visit to the Game Night photographic archives has uncovered evidence of gaming activity as long ago as Pearl Harbor Day, 2005.

Ah, those were the days, hunting submarines with whatever that device was. But it wasn't always battle on the high seas. No there were islands to be taken as we rolled back the Empire of the Rising Sun.

But the high seas called again. In the words of Herman Melville:

Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off- then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.

Pirate Night. Yo ho ho and a bottle of whatever we had.

But Game Night wasn't always about drinking and fighting. Well, it is always about drinking but not always about fighting. There were also nights to tax the old gray matter.

To tell the truth I don't remember playing that one. And then there's always the cutthroat competition for the almighty dollar -

And what's a game night among geeks without the Star Trek?

Experience Bij young man!

OK, that's as bizarre as it gets. Finally, a game that's not only pointless but seems to involve wheels of color. Do not adjust your sets -

Well, that's it tadpoles. A revolution is not a dinner party and Game Night, as you can see, is not all printed cardboard and tea cozys.

Why would anyone do that?

And this is why they call it the interwebs - see the Game Night photos on Flickr, for crying out loud, courtesy of Link.n.Logs. Say what?

Nothing warms the soul like victory!

OK. Look, I'm gonna fess up and admit that the game I FINALLY won at Game Night was one I brought myself and that I honed my skills on said game ("Sharp Shooters"--really just dice--lots of dice--scary, mutant, nightmarish scads of dice--hundreds of little white dots embossed into the faces of those smug little red cubes. God may not play dice with the universe, but, by Dog and praise Jeebus, Dr. Kirby does! Hooowah!!) losing endless times to Mrs. Dr. Kirby who is, I hasten to add, something of a prodigy with dice games, particularly those not involving money (the Great Vegas Craps System has yet to emerge, but hope springs infernal). But I digress. Cold, cold, cold day and yet I left the GameDen feeling warm and snuggly, having actually bested the lads at...something.

Naturally, I was unsuccessful with either of the other games, but, by Gad, they were a gas! Would that travel around the real world ("Real World"--feh!--what a specious bit of myth THAT is!) was as easy as in the World Traveller game--a roll of the dice, the draw of a card, and the advancement of one's tiny li'l rocketship toward one's intended destination--I'd happily trade my aging jetpack and faulty Area 51 surplus teleportation tube for such easy travel!

And--"Apples to Apples"--this has to have been design by Dali. Brilliant, surreal comedramedy to be had from these brightly-hued pasteboards. Yes, "Chicken" was the universal answer--though I suspect "bacon" (the victual, not the actor) would have served as well. I feel I played my "Bruce Willis" card far to early in the game, and bowed, once again, to the Master of Games. "Hooowah," indeed.

Sure missed my buddy Zeus....

January Photoplay

It's all been said, or has it? I love the world travel almost as much as the Dr. misses the Cold War. And by rocket ship! Wrong airport! Bumped! Import-export is no game for amateurs. Is this legitimate smuggling or just a cover for espionage? Here Col. Spymaster lays out his plans of conquest.

And this happy traveller remembered to put all his liquids im 7 oz. containers:











Then we shot craps. $1000 against our immortal souls. The dice loved the Doctor:





Finally the game where surrealism scores big. Yes, "Chicken" is always a correct answer but it was "The Big Bang Theory" that took the cake:

Triple Play! January's frozen fun fest!

Game one: "Wide World". Each player uses a metal jet (rocket) to whizz to exotic destinations on a coloful map of terra firma. Once there they collect product cards ( ex: 'England is Wood' ) and then rush off to the next destination and finally the South Pole for the win. Each players Product Cards are kept face down and they must remember what country they are from and what the product is or risk losing them to other players. Red dots mean take a 'Travel Agent' card that can throw a wrench in the works or clear the airways. I played this often as a kid and it's still enjoyable. All smiles all around and all recommend this early 1960's classic. Greg won in a gripping climactic chase to the land of the penguins!

Game two: "Shooters" Yellow cards are laid out and players take turns rolling up to six of their own eight dice and making matches with the cards pictured dice. Win chips! Lose chips! Eat chips! Dr Kirby won this one. His hot hand fair melted the tumblin' bones! Easy and pleasy! We all recommend!

Game three: "Apples to Apples!" A card is laid out with a word on it and the players draw from their hands to try and match the chosen words meaning with humor, irony, idiocy or whatever may appeal to the rotating judge. The winner takes the laid card. Most judged matches wins. And the winnah was ...well... you can almost see for yourself. Even though I lost I made a grand showing with the words 'Cher', 'Chicken' and last but surely not least 'Britney Spears'. She is a Slave 4 Me! Really, for all of us though. Good rollickin' fun!

Man, I miss the Cold War!

"Enemy Agent" is the Best Game Ever! I love the intrigue, the deceit, the skullduggery of trying to sneak secret plans across the border from one non-descript, generic Eastern Bloc nation to another non-descript, generic Eastern Bloc nation (one of which, I presume, is allied with the good old US of A), coupled with the very real-world risk of being nabbed by the secret police (or "Sekrit Polis" if you're into that whole non-descript, generic Eastern Bloc thing) of the opposition. The whole idea of basing a board game on Cold-War era paranoia and espionage is just really appealing to me. Man, I miss those days... Then again, I also miss bell bottoms, "disco shirts" and Hai Karate cologne. Man, I loved the Cold War.

As for the game, once again I didn't win, but neither did anybody else, so I can live with that.

Oh, and Video Village just stunk on ice. But it was still really fun in a non-descript, hanging with the guys, drinking wine and playing stupid board games kind of way. Pass the nuts, Zeus..