September tries

Game one: "Sky Runner"
Neato! Build a 3 story skyscraper and then climb it, all the while trying to keep the competition from getting topside before you.
The climb is controlled by cards. Opponents can be foiled by playing equipment failure cards

It's also possible to hoist yourself up on other players backs. None of these cunning strategies were employed by yours truly who brought home the win. See me grin! Yeah! I just held back and gathered equipment while the others tore at each others lines and when the time was ripe I climbed like a monkey on fire! Just call me "Topper"! (Helps if the game is yours and you can scan the rules in advance.) Fun! Play it again sometime.

Game two:"Zombie Dice"

Roll the dice until you bang out your brains. Last man left with most brains wins.

Above we see the winner and our own version of Al Einstein. Doesn't speak well for the overall I.Q. rating of the game gang but hey ...it's about the fun not the thought!
Game three:"Duel"
Below Dr. Kirby wracks his top knot trying to mesmer a move. Giant dice are lined up and rolled the number of dots showing in a straight line or a one turn line. Tumbling on the adversaries die takes it off the board. Normal gigantic six sided dice are used except the one kingping die which has one dot on all six sides. Capture it and you win.
It's possible to almost smell the light curls of smoke issuing from Dr. Kirby's ears as he struggles with the complexity of the game board in the photo above.
All to no avail. The devious "D" dices the Doc and ends the game with mitts full of square triumph! Odd, as the other pic made it look like Dr. K was the burgundy boy. Hmmm ...have to look into that!
Game four:"Hooked"

A"fish for all" in this Minnesota original. Get the lures and leeches guys! 3 boats venture forth onto the lake trying to land lunkers. It's all in the cards. We played 2 teams versus me! Guess who lost? Yeah ...no problem figuring that out. Spent all my time dockside moanin' about my dry line.
Above are the winners, Ahab and Starbuck gloating over the tuna tin. Nice work Swabs! Don't forget to "mount" the trophy! See you next month!
,

How to Draw a Comic Book

This is what I was up against. In my mind I couldn't help but take a drawing lesson. Using two circles to make a human figure. Two circles. Medicate me.

Fear of heights.



Up we go.



The Colonel takes this.



Hey, I wuz distracted.



Finally, a game that requires BRAINS!



Dr. Kirby explains the concept.



What he didn't explain was how he "doctored" the dice in the first round. The Frog tries his luck.



I emerge from my drawing lesson to master the second round.



Then the Zombie Showdown. Colonel displays the minty freshness.



I take the Duel.



And then my camera ran down. The last game was a fishing competition. Colonel was grumpy because he didn't have no fishin' buddy. Dr. & me trumped with three trophy swimmers. Kind of like this:



It was swell to get back to the table.

August gusto!

Bad movie night! Yeah! Here we go! First up ..."Dean Martin Variety Show"
Ev'ahbuddy luvs sumbuddy, right Dean? Cheese connot be sliced thicker than this and still tolerated. Thankfully we only viewed about 10 minutes. Seemed longer. Reminds me of what TV used to be back in days of yore and why many found it a BORE! Let's let Nick Tosches sum up Mr. Martin's last gasp. Below is a pic of a page from Nick's book "Dino". A damnation summation.

View Two: "Spaceship" by Puddle of Mud (?)

"Let's get it over and just get NAKED!" Yeah baby, Rock n Roll!
View Three: "Brit-Knee"

Geez ...this is almost embarrassing! Watchin' her beat up "Paps" and groan over some knuckle dragger who can't hit his mouth with a milk carton? What's the game crew come to?
View Four: "Family Guy"

This was hilarious ...to me! The dog get's down with Quagmire's Dad. Not for everyone. I laughed.
View Five: "The Avengers"
How long could you stand watching Emma Peel get chased around by silver skinned, trench coated, dark spec sportin' robots? All night! Classic Avengery via "Evil" E. Thanks!
View Six: "Uh ..."

Yeah, B's bro B brought in some classic vid but ...must have been a fun night cuz I can't recall. Yes, yes I did have a martini, mea culpa. Did not drive until I was sober! ( 1 drink at 5, drive at 9)

View Seven: "Death to all but METAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hit of the night! Haven't seen this video yet? Well ...get your peepers over to Youtube and start the visual feast. Big, big laughs! Even the Missus thinks this one is a slap knee hoot! See ya next month when we'll be back on the die rollin' schedule!

Orson Recommends the New Bad Movie Night Cave

July-bation

Game one: "Zombiegeddon" Alright! Let'as start the eve with an ol' fashioned brain eater beater. The object of this game is to collect guns 'n' supplies during the first part and in the second part to KILL THEM ZOMBIES while getting your own markers safely into shelter. Actually not as brutal as it sounds and far more of a cerebral puzzler than an actual whomp down.
Still ...lots of fun and comes with a recommendation in spite of the fact that the winner was half an undead grey matter ghoul himself. We see the triumphant Dr Kirby hiding his win grin behind the game container above.

Game two: "Destination Mars"

Hmm ...sounds like it might be fun ...awfully small board ...cool rockets though ...only two players? Well, this was a basic card draw, count dots and first to the finish is the winnah. *yawn* This MUST have been a free give away with some kind of sign up for cable TV or something! A magazine subscription? Prize for selling flower seed packets? I doubt even an 8 year old would be fooled into playing this more than once. Isn't it possible to at least throw in some fun Mars facts? I guess there was planetary facts in the cards but ...man! Can we go back to beatin' zombies pleeze?
Here we see the dynamic 12" by 4" inch game board simulating the treacherous trip to the red planet. *GASP!* OH! The peril! How did our contestants ever make this flight of danger?
The rockets were neato retro but ...only 2 of them? seems a gyp not to mention a waste of a great marker.

Well, no surprises that the triumph went to Dr K. Above we see him hitting the ham with the liliputian box this game comes in. I believe I'll cut this baby up for parts. Gotta be a better way to use those rockets!

Game three: "Mind Maze"

Cue ominous theremin music. Mind Maze! Will your puny mentality be able to withstand it's frightening rigors? Mind Maze! A challenge to strain the brain of mortals planetwide! Mind Maze! Made for the Mensa set!

It's obvious from the pic on the box cover that this "no peek" variation of "Tickle Bee' (Anyone recall that game? Anyone?) has the same magnetic premise: get the marble to the goal. Ta-Da! The gag here is that you set up a maze for your opponent to run while they do the same for you and first one done takes the laurel.

Above "Evil E" and Dr Kirby struggle with each other labyrinths trying to raise their steel marker to the goal.

And the winner? Well ...after a short time everyone gave up. This after flipping the board and being unable to run the maze that they themselves had constructed. HA! Blame Game had the best seat in the house watching them both try over and over again, each slowly beating their ball against an impassable wall. Ahem!
Evil takes a look and still has a challlenge trying to wiggle the steely along. Give up man! The clocks run out and our three guy game play has come to an end for yet another month. See you in August with hopefully a far better turn out!

May Hem!

Game One: "The Magnificent Race"

Here we go! A throw back to days of yore when board games meant playtested gimmicks! This one was a gamblin' marble race with the real possibility that no one could win. Can you imagine? The game could actually beat us all! A nonentity made of cardboard and chemically altered oil! Fantastic! Surreal! Thankfully for humanity a personage of flesh and blood won. See his gloating triumph in picture number 2. The upshot of this 1970's near antique was to fill your card with wins from 4 sets of races, balloon, auto, boat and aeroplane. Why 2 air races? Well ...I imagine they had to round out this square somehow. Lot's of fun son. I'd play this again in no time, especially if it doesn't move out at my next convention. Nice and a plus recommendo!

(Now ...at this point in the evening the gamesters were given a choice as to what the next selection would be. "Cheeky Monkey" or "Waterworld". And the winner? "Cheeky Monkey". More on this later.)

Game Two: "Cheeky Monkey"

This is a game of guts and random draws. I knew my strategy would be devil may care abandon from the start. Chips with pics of various animals are placed in a cloth bag and drawn out one at a time. When 2 of the same are pulled they all go back. If the player stops before the match they keep the chips drawn. Value of animals is judged by rarity of their images on the chips. A simple childs game suitable for ages 7 and up. I recklessly drew over and over emptying my kept chip pile to zero again and again, and then, at the end, I drew and saved the lucky combo to bring home the win! Take that all you game night lames! In picture 3 we see special guest Big Boss "B" holding the monkey box. The number 4 photo shows me with my full wart hog gloat on. MMMMMM!!!! Victory sweet!

Game Four: "We Didn't Play Test at All or Either"

This is actually kind of a retread for us. Played round after round just to fill up the extra time we had. Fun? How can a game that lasts 5 minutes and gives such chortles to mortals not be graded high?

And the victors? Let's look:

Winnah One!

Winnah Two!

Winnah Three!

And finally we see the card that, while not giving a win, prevented anyone from winning ala Professor Tung style. So fine the shine! Spite makes rite!








See my smarmy smirk at having taught everyone a real lesson in poor sportsmanship! Cheeze!

And now a word about games not chosen. It was put to a vote whether we should open a sealed copy of "Cheeky Monkey" OR a minty fresh factory sealed vintage copy of "Waterworld". And everyone chooses "Cheeky Monkey"?!?! What planet are we on? Grown men now pick a aminal match game over the possibility of "sinking the Deeze"? WHA-HUH?!?!?! Did anyone not see the slimy evil of Dennis Hopper in this Kevin Costner extravaganza? The rusting boiled hulk of the Exxon Valdez run by filthy smokers laying a final polluted layer of crap over the earth coverin' briny? And we're going to lay paws in a bag to pull wildlife tokens instead? Mother of mercy! Is this what the game gang is reduced to? Stay tuned folks. We'll see if the "Deeze" don't do some damage by and by in July! Hasta lumbago!

Behind the Blue Door

Checking out The Blue Door. Tiny place. Not so hot on burger stuffed with cheese. But the food not stuffed with cheese was great.



Then it's off to the races.



All round approval for the roulettey action (see video below). Evil is first around the world.



Cheeky Monkees.



We fumbled a bit with the rules (maybe the ones for 5 year olds were more our speed) but once we got it down it was way cheeky.



Stopping with Wally the Walrus was the right thing to do.



Second Night in a row for this one.



And these are the rules.



Outstanding & quick. "Fun is mandatory." Well ain't that the truth!