May Hem!

Game One: "The Magnificent Race"

Here we go! A throw back to days of yore when board games meant playtested gimmicks! This one was a gamblin' marble race with the real possibility that no one could win. Can you imagine? The game could actually beat us all! A nonentity made of cardboard and chemically altered oil! Fantastic! Surreal! Thankfully for humanity a personage of flesh and blood won. See his gloating triumph in picture number 2. The upshot of this 1970's near antique was to fill your card with wins from 4 sets of races, balloon, auto, boat and aeroplane. Why 2 air races? Well ...I imagine they had to round out this square somehow. Lot's of fun son. I'd play this again in no time, especially if it doesn't move out at my next convention. Nice and a plus recommendo!

(Now ...at this point in the evening the gamesters were given a choice as to what the next selection would be. "Cheeky Monkey" or "Waterworld". And the winner? "Cheeky Monkey". More on this later.)

Game Two: "Cheeky Monkey"

This is a game of guts and random draws. I knew my strategy would be devil may care abandon from the start. Chips with pics of various animals are placed in a cloth bag and drawn out one at a time. When 2 of the same are pulled they all go back. If the player stops before the match they keep the chips drawn. Value of animals is judged by rarity of their images on the chips. A simple childs game suitable for ages 7 and up. I recklessly drew over and over emptying my kept chip pile to zero again and again, and then, at the end, I drew and saved the lucky combo to bring home the win! Take that all you game night lames! In picture 3 we see special guest Big Boss "B" holding the monkey box. The number 4 photo shows me with my full wart hog gloat on. MMMMMM!!!! Victory sweet!

Game Four: "We Didn't Play Test at All or Either"

This is actually kind of a retread for us. Played round after round just to fill up the extra time we had. Fun? How can a game that lasts 5 minutes and gives such chortles to mortals not be graded high?

And the victors? Let's look:

Winnah One!

Winnah Two!

Winnah Three!

And finally we see the card that, while not giving a win, prevented anyone from winning ala Professor Tung style. So fine the shine! Spite makes rite!








See my smarmy smirk at having taught everyone a real lesson in poor sportsmanship! Cheeze!

And now a word about games not chosen. It was put to a vote whether we should open a sealed copy of "Cheeky Monkey" OR a minty fresh factory sealed vintage copy of "Waterworld". And everyone chooses "Cheeky Monkey"?!?! What planet are we on? Grown men now pick a aminal match game over the possibility of "sinking the Deeze"? WHA-HUH?!?!?! Did anyone not see the slimy evil of Dennis Hopper in this Kevin Costner extravaganza? The rusting boiled hulk of the Exxon Valdez run by filthy smokers laying a final polluted layer of crap over the earth coverin' briny? And we're going to lay paws in a bag to pull wildlife tokens instead? Mother of mercy! Is this what the game gang is reduced to? Stay tuned folks. We'll see if the "Deeze" don't do some damage by and by in July! Hasta lumbago!