Two for February

Fast & furious in Feb! Game one: "Home Improvement"


Yes! Home Improvement! A hit TV show! This has got to be good, right? BZZZT! Oh! I'm terribly sorry but this game, advertised on the box as being" hilarious", was a stone cold dud. If it wasn't for the forced and half witty patter of the gamesters I'm sure we all would have snored the evening away. Above at right we can see the bored winner holding the game box with undisguised disgust and relief that this rock will never have to be crossed again. So many cards of such varied type and yet ...so few used. What was the point supposed to be? We gave up after and hour and declared the winner to be the poor chump who happened to stumble into enough equity to trump the rest of us. Thank Chet! Want an improvement for your home? Don't ever pick up this game.

Game two: "Assassin" Yes! Subterfugal murder! Now this is a meaty challenge that each and every one of the back stabbin' bone rollin' players could sink his teeth into. To the left ... the field of combat ...below ...the first victim eliminated by a half lipped souse scoundrel within the first ten (count 'em) minutes of play! A chill of fear and astonishment ran through our entire throng at seeing a player eliminated with such astounding rapidity! Who would be next?

Well the answer after many a missed attempts was that Dr Kirby had to go. Finally it was left for the last two players to go through a nail biting litany of attempted kills in order to end with none other than great Zeus's overseer as the champion of the night ( see above left) The final victim (see above right) gave a heroic showing burning money and luck in a failed try at victory. This game is recommended and has possibilities for replay at a later date. The fact that it's limited to only four gamers is a small drawback. The ease of the first kill of the game was exceedingly deceptive! And as for spending the big $$ on a more able assassin? seemed to be totally luck of the draw as evidenced by the number of photos in the above gallery of failures.

And with that we bid aw-doo to another month of gamimg! See you in March!

Yin Yang Conflict Chess Candy

No takers on the Game Night candy. None. None but me, and lemme tell you sumthin, cats and kittens, my head has been swimming, Mark Spitz-style, since Game Night! I haven't slept a wink and I can do square and cubed roots in my head now without using either my fingers or my toes, I can charge cell phones with just a wink of the eye, and I've been making the most amazing hospital corners on the Dr. and Mrs. Dr. Kirby connubial berth. X-Ray vision? Hah! I've got ZZZ-Ray vision, which means I can see through lead, phone books and all the deceitful artifices of even the most sociopathic of miscreants. I don't know what our good friends in the PRC (or Canada--I get a little confused sometimes in my geography) put in those cute little game piece-shaped confections, but they've changed my life--and my life was pretty weird to begin with! On the downside, I seem to be spending a lot of time mulling over group-win strategies for "Yin Yang"--which I find more than a little disturbing--and I've been having some difficulty finding the focus to finish simple.....

"Your optimist says the glass is half full
Your pessimist says it's half empty
Your realist wants to know what's in the glass
Your cynic is certain it's pee."

Oh, and I've evidently developed a need to write bad, lightly scatalogical poetry. I wonder if this sort of thing ever happened to Underdog or Captain Nice.

Number Six is Un-Mutual.

Nwebie doobie doo

Starting off sweet! Mini games with delectable candy treats inside started off the night. Dr Kirby brought an entire selection of tooth rot that tasted like "chalky sweet tarts". Hmm ...didn't actually try any myself but the packages were darn cute!
Game One: "Yin Yang":
This fluffy wonder was acquired at a sale last summer and enthusiastically recommended by the teacher who was hawking it for a buck. A 'Zen' marble game where all the players co-operate to move marbles into patterns and then remove them from the board. The winner? Everyone according to the rules! This made in Canada crap-a-thon had no point whatsoever. If it was supposedly to remove the marbles collectively then why bother to put them out at all? Our bored and baffled crew can be seen below wondering why we even tried this tepid bit of tedium. Well ...it was cheap, available and ...uh...my fault! D'oh. Avoid this one, pleeze!
Game Two: "Conflict!" At last! A game that says it all right in the title! Conflict! A man's game well met on the field of challenge by males ready to do damage to each other. Conflict! Metal playing pieces (Yes! Ruggedness abounds!) of cannons, battleships, jet fighters and anti aircraft guns are manuevered around the board in an attempt to wipe other players pieces from the map and stand alone in virile glorious victory! What could possibly be more male in a board game than that? Reckless struggle and sweating combat to achieve triumph over your helpless opponents! Yes! This was a game for the Dyced crew to get in and chew on! At right below we see the turmoil of play while at left the victor (me!) gritted with combat lust weilds an ancient copy of the game in the air in exaltant success! Highly recommended.

Game Three (and four , sort of): "Four Player Chess" with card modifiers: OK. This one got a little ...uh ...confused as it was two games jammed together. The card modifier chess game was supposed to be used with two player chess but hey! What are we if not bold explorers and pioneers in the world of amateur gamimg? Witness our repeated attempts to get T.L.I.F.A.U. to fly (see last June). While there was no clear winner on this mayhem filled outing there was abundant amusement and the entire gang agreed that this would and should have been the game to spend more time on if only we hadn't wasted the first hour wading through that peurile mess Yin and Yang! Yeesh! OK. Enough of regrets. The chess thing was a definite try over with much potential for fun and glee for all involved. Below at right we see Dennis obviously rueing the clock that was burnt on Yin Yang and pondering whether a few extra moments could have brought home the win on Chess. We'll never know! See you next month!

In the Teeth of Winter

Who came up with this cockamanie notion of Game Night way over to Undisclosed City all through winter? Instead of calmly plowing my way through the biggest, sloppiest, most maniacal novel in all of christendom while leaving the driving to the MTC while an all day snowstorm ensured that good progress would be made as traffic slid to a halt I am white knuckling my way cross town so that I can, once again, expose myself to the vicissitudes of the dice and the bottle while January slams us first with greasy snow and then the start of the coldest snap in four years. What novel, you ask? Yes, wouldn’t you like to know? Anyhow, snow so deep one of us was trapped in their own driveway. Traffic so slow I was able to dig my camera out of my backpack, remove the lenscap, focus and fire off the pic below of the Art Car I was following over the Franklin Ave bridge, recap the camera and put in back in the pack before moving an inch. So it was all worth it.

Or was it? Our first game consisted of all players working in cahoots to arrange the material universe into prearranged patterns (you know, we could have created our own instead, that would have been super keen) of positively and negatively charged particles which, having achieved perfect harmony, then disappeared, as it were, leaving behind only uncharged dark matter. Nothingness.

Here we see those Game Kings who were not stuck in their driveways struck instead by the awful, unknowable nothingness of the universe. You see, we all won this one. Om.



Wow. Entropy descends. But then, war! Air, land & sea. Must love the rocket ship air forces. The Colonel displays his tactical finery and takes this one.



But then, ying yang overflow. Everything go upside down!

Finally I seem to recall that we played four hand chess with Magic card play on the side. Simply was not meant to be. We disbanded in total confusion as the Game Night HQ imploded into a singularity of fortune and was swept off across the frozen city night to the sound of a far off train whistle.

Groundhog coming on groundhog day
Groundhog coming and bringing Lady Summer along
Tell me Mr. Groundhog what do you say?
Telling those good folks old man winter is gone
Well I hope you don't find no shadow round your home
When you try and look over your shoulder
Well I hope you don't find no shadow round your home
All because I'm counting on you, Hey Mr. Groundhog
...

Groundhog people with your groundhog ways
See you in the sun but you fly when the shadows get long
Tell me Mr. Groundhog what do you say?
Telling those good folks Old Man Winter is gone
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter
Mr. Old Man Winter

December Doofism

Game the One-th: "Milk & Cheese"
Hardly a game. Merely a dice toss to amuse while the fourth arrivee was awaited. At right we see the winner, doubtful of his own prowess at this uncertain amusement. He was the first of the evening to sport the nights' mascot, Sammy Davis Jr., whose birthday anniversary it was. Oh Babe!
Game the Two-th: "Strategy"
This hot entrant was unique in that it only had 8 short rules. A fine vintage find from the 1940's no less. Had to play two rounds to get the hang of it ...barely! Here we have Dr K in full triumphant grimace melting Sammy with his glare of victory. The second round would end differently!

Left and below we see the field of combat lined with the pawns and Barons of battle.

Below the victors of round two. A much more intricate and deft play than round one. Sammy strikes a fine profile. All were agreed that this game had much more to offer and is an easy candidate for future replay.

Game the Third-th: "Enemy Chocolateer"

Willy Wonka eat your candy heart out. This Cheap Ass Game production was a sweet romp into a puzzling world of confection manufactory dominance. Below we see the sozzled winner holding Sam while the latter is fed his victory swill.

After that things got out of hand and the Sam had to be restrained from bottle hogging. (see below, left and right)

All and all a magical evening kicking off the month of Holiday seasoning! See you in the new year.

End of the Year Wrap Up

Ok, what's my strategy here? A crapload of pics from two month's gaming, can't remember a thing about those nights and now it's year's end. Time to wrap it up, never mind making sense of it all.

Under the watchful eyes of the Game Night guardian deities.

The Doctor strategizes with Bobblehead Sammy. Yes, the ghost of the Samster attended the festivities in December, it being his birthday that night.

And he brought luck to the Doctor in the Milk & Cheese as well.

Here the red frog doubles over with victory. Gotta love the 3d game boards.

Now the "Tip the Waiter" sequence. The Colonel & Doctor carefully pile Snappin Sammy Smoot's tray high.

Yeah, oops is right.

Doc wins this one too. What's he grousing about now?

Birthday snootfull for Sammy. Hey! it's Game Night, the booze ain't optional.

Wandering the random spaceways. Sort of like this post.

Gangsta!

Game of the Year, 2008