Ground for Repentance

Don't this just beat all? Wish I had been the banker on this one 'cause counting out the players' monopoly money was almost the highlight of the game. Around the board to collect your miserable wages. But first an exciting trip into one of the 5 & Dimes for, well, why not a toaster? Can you beat the thrill of paying $20 at the 5 & Dime instead of $35 at the Dime & 5? I know I had to put back a couple of bourbon & branch waters just to steady my bargain huntin' hand after that one. At least there's a plastic toaster to fondle. No? Maybe a colorful toaster chit? 'Fraid not. Nothing but a checkmark on a checklist. Almost as exciting as hanging around the starting block and deducting a random amount from your wad each turn. Even the exotic fish checkoff couldn't assuage my total gloom. The one glimmer of excitement is the possible denial of credit by the erzatz credit card machine. Did it deny? Maybe once after we smacked it around.

Dr. Kirby, perceiving the possibly fatal ennui setting in went for broke and maxed his plastique at which point we all realized we had better wind things up before we were ourselves wound up and handed the victory to the Dr. in recognition of his selfless sacrifice.

"Should circulation as a means of payment increase at a higher rate than it decreases as a means of purchase, the aggregate circulation would increase, although the money serving as a means of purchase would decrease considerably in quantity. And this actually occurs in certain periods of crisis, namely, when credit collapses completely and when not only commodities and securities are unsaleable but bills of exchange are undiscountable and nothing counts any more but money payment, or, as the merchant puts it, cash." - Marx, Capital 3, 28

And even that is more excitement than "Bargain Hunter"

Needing a splash of cold water to all our faces at that point we unwrap the 8 color magnificence of "Quest". A spinner of substance. Very welcome after last month's "Pirates o the Carib". And quickly concluded.

And then a truly splendid piece of work, previewed here in a video flyby last month, "Hotels". Basic Monopoly concept but, unlike Monopoly, a fast mover. Hotels went up like there was some kind of Commercial Real Estate bubble going on. Speculator's got fat and got screwed. Complexes went belly up and pools were drained by the mosquito control board faster than one could buy Water Works.

Good thing too since time was growing short due to the time waste of "Bargain Hunters". This was why god made the Game Kings.

Dr. Kirby looks glumly out on the Fujiyama Towers. Thinking, no doubt, of gambling losses past.

And Dennis wonders what sort of fate the dice have in store for his empire.

But the money rolls in and out. The Frog has parlayed his connections into some truly juicy land grabs and slap dash construction. Here he can be seen in Scrooge McDuck mode adding up his fabulous riches as though the entire CRE sector weren't already careening toward the precipice.

Yes, an enthusiastic endorsement for "Hotels". Saleable, no. Playable, yes. If only we had had the time after sinking an hour into the wasteland of "Bargain Hunter".

"A bad bargain is always a ground for repentance." Pliny the Elder

Yes, Dr., I am a bad man

Try July

Game One: "Bargain Hunter"
OK. How can you not love a game that attemptes to teach fiscal responsibility in spite of the fact that it's main gimmicky wheeze is a credit card machine? Our fair troopers found out. The object of this contest is to fill a shopping list to furnish your new place. *yuh-awn* AND you're not supposed to go into debt with your plastic credit card?! Wha-huh? The crew can be seen in our first pic trying hard to inject some fun into this tedium test. We finally did figure it out however. Dr Kirby (with unabashed encouragment from all) rang himself head over heels into a deep drowning sea of red ink in an attempt to snab all the items on his list. He came the closest to succeeding ...and lost miserably but with more laughs and glory than the game could possible contain rule wise. The lesson? Toss the rules on this one and play it the All American Way! Debt to the max! Melting plastic should fill the room as competitors struggle to out do each other in consumptive madness! That's the way to go here. Credit limit? HA! Where's the fun in that?




At right, on the left, we see the "real" winner who played by the rules and got the most stuff with no debt. He looks happy but don't be fooled. His victory is hollow. At right , on the right, we see the dictator of debt, Dr Kirby, theoretical "loser". You decide who had more fun. We know who really did!

Game Two: "Quest"

Manufactured by the now gone "Lakeside" game company. (Truth in advertising: Mrs.Kirby once worked for the now gone Lakeside Co. Her verdict? They were NOT a fun place to labor for!) This was a very novel an interesting maze run game. A massive spinner in the center of the board doubled not only as a move counter but a board changer. Arrows would appear in clear squares and set the direction of movement and make it different at every turn . Another novelty? Everyone moved with every turn. Opponents could be sent back to start if a player landed on a yellow square. Nice. Always a help to add a back stabbin' twist to these things.

After not so very long yours truly (right) emerged as the winner. My ennui filled aura lulled my opponents into a state of security and I was able to bring my pawn in for the victory! Lucky me. This one was recommended by all.

Game Three: "Hotels"

This one was featured last month but we didn't actually play it. Players buy and improve various Vegas style Hotel/Resort properties and then stick it to each other for room fees when they "visit" rival lodgings. After a shortened round everyone was convinced this challenger should have started the evening. Things were just beginning to get het up when we had to call a winner. And it was? None other than the that raconteur roustabout and master of Zeus, Mr G.(above). Could he look happier? Not really seeing as how he somehow managed to "Trump" the rest of us!