Mental March

Game One (and only!): "A Mighty Fortress"

"A Mighty Fortress" and a bold experiment. On this damp March eve the Dyced crew tried a bold experiment! The "BHS", Boiled Historical Simulation. We took this 30 odd year old wonder and boiled 12 pages of rules down to a single vexed mess in the hope of being able to bring playtime in at under 3 hours. Normal game time was listed as 6 hours. Now in the long ago several attempts were made to play this monster with poor results. Never ever finished it even once.
let's see how our brave crew fared, shall we?
Above we see the historical personages from the game. Luther, Sulieman I, Henry VIII, Francis I, Charles the ...Hapsburg, and dear ol' Pope Clement(al) the VII. At left the action begins! The spead of an ill green tide can be seen creeping in from the east! The Turks are on the move! Who will stop them? Luther's deep brown menace swells in mid Europe. Pity the poor Pope undergunned and hanging on, deep blue in Italy. Meanwhile those zany and, theoretical, allies the French and Hapsbrgs are measuring each other up for a whack-a-thon. Smooth guys, smooth!

At right we see Loother infesting Poland with his austere and embittered heresies. Later in the game those jolly French would be happy to lend him an oar so he could export across the waves more non-Catholic craziness! Thanks "Franc"! The Pope misses the excommunication rules with a deep longing. But wait! It's getting late and here come the Jesuits! Take that you door' nailin' ne'er do wells! Gains are made in Germany and the Lutherans demand to see the rule book to make sure his Excellency isn't cooking it. Loother may demand his own "biblical" interpretation but the Pope knows he'll never find the chapter and verse he needs to prove his point.Ha ha!

At left the Jesuits do their blessed duty but ...all to no avail! The sly Loother has done his work well as has his chief ally ...SATAN! He's set the Hapsburgs and Frenchies at each others throats on the west coast of France and the slaughter is terrible! The guy upstairs has not totally deserted his holiness however and sees to it that the Turks are dealt a mini "Lepanto" off Italy's shores! Sulieman may be sitting in Venice but his plans for further expansion are now sunk.

Before we know it it's time for the final tally and the losers are ( in order, worst to least worst ): The Pope! A miserable -20 some points! The Frenchies! More minus points. The Hapsburgs! Another negatory. The English! At least a positive number here. The Ottoman Turks! Another respectable plus! Leaving the winner and top Weiner as none other than .................................

MARTIN LOOTHER!!??!!!

Yep! He walked off handily with a win second to none. Some may say that it was his skill and daring that won the day, others that it was the three stooge buffoonery of the Catholic triad that did it, but Pope Clement(al) knows in his bones that LUTHER is but a few letters away from LUCIFER, the real victor here. At left we see his devilish gloat. Enjoy it Marty, There's nasty surprises in store for you down below!
And so on to the critique of the BHS, Boiled Historical Simulation: It was fantastic! Throwing out rules was a great idea! This monster was supposed to be roughly 24 turns long and we did it in exactly 6! A triumph of fun and sloth!

Was it flawed? Sure. Was there some things that didn't work? Yeah. Was it a 2X laugh riot? Jawohl! Would we do it again? Absotively! One member was so enthused he looked this baby up online and found another group that had played it by email. With ALL the rules no less! I can't emagine how much time and effort this must have taken. And the result? LOOTHER WON THERE TOO!!! Man! Cannot imagine doing all that labor to end up with the same ending. This was a real acid test for the gang and I feel that the BHS has a real future with the Dyced crew. Nihil Obstat! Imprimatur!