Thursday, October 13, 2011

It's After the End of the World


Don't you know that yet. The words of the prophet, Sun Ra.  And this old white guy is on the spaceship  too. But let us break it into stages. 


Stage One: Unbridled Speculation


   

The young, the old, the idle rich, the dissolute, the desperate and the rapacious; by this stage all the parasitic elements of society have entered the game.
   Masterpiece 
 Speculators surge from auction to auction snapping up classics and forgeries alike blinded by the belief that whatever unbelievable price they may pay today someone else will double tomorrow.
   Van Gogh Masterpiece 
 Even untutored musicians gamble and win.


     

Until, that is, the game ends. 
 "As is always the case, prosperity very rapidly encouraged speculation. Speculation regularly occurs in periods when overproduction is already in full swing. It provides overproduction with temporary market outlets, while for this very reason precipitating the outbreak of the crisis and increasing its force. The crisis itself first breaks out in the area of speculation; only later does it hit production. What appears to the superficial observer to be the cause of the crisis is not overproduction but excess speculation, but this is itself only a symptom of overproduction. The subsequent disruption of production does not appear as a consequence of its own previous exuberance but merely as a setback caused by the collapse of speculation."  Karl Marx 


Stage Two: It All Comes Crashing Down


  Zombiegeddon detail 
 There comes a time in all markets when promises and professions must give way to solid objects. As St. Peter says to Dante "Now the alloy and the weight of this money have been well examined; but tell me if you have it in your purse." Or, as Marx goes on to say, "Under the ideal measure of values there lurks the hard cash."
   Ready for Zombiegeddon 
 And so the hapless and the hardy race across the denuded landscape scrambling for guns and groceries before popping into the shelter, if they're lucky. This fellow was, but what a price he paid.
   Zombie self-portrait 


 Stage Three: Madness


   

Which brings us around, as so often before, to the inexplicable, tangled world of Lovecraft. I've done that already and we all know where it leads:
   Madness
Look carefully into the Die of Fate.
   Cthulu dice 
 Take heed in these dangerous times. Board games, are they the answer or can overindulgence lead to this:
   Too many board games

Click here for even more Game Night goodies

October-pests!

Game one:"Masterpiece"
Art snobs sign in please! Round and round we go bidding on art that usually turns out to be worth far less than what we paid for it if it's worth anything at all! Is there some un-subtle message that the center of the playing board is a self portrait of Vincent VanGogh? It took me several years to hunt this baby down at a garage sale and it was worth the wait. Each player was assigned a character from the game box pic. I was ...uh ...Victor? Raul? Bah! That's me with the beard and my hand up on the cover wishing it was a booze filled glass. I made my character a sodden rich drunk and he played exactly as cast! I ended the game with the least money, completely spifflicated and holdiong a fake DeKooning to boot! Hey! I bought it 'cuz I liked it, not for some pedestrian monetary gain! *HIC!*

Here we see our winner the sly "Cinnamon"! A former rock groupie who cast a bewitching mesmer spell over the entire field of play. In the pic above she stares beyond her controlling eminence gris at a stark fave painting of a lonely midnight diner haunted by minimal patrons and help, a sure sign that Halloween is not far off!

Game 2:"Zombiegeddon"

Wait ...we played this one before! Yeah! I should just tell you to look at the other posting and save my aching fingers the torture of typing!
Wait yet again! Is this some kind of "POG" game variant?!? No!
Let's not ask this guy! He obviously isn't sure where he is let alone what he might be doing!

Yep! We played this before but half the crew was gone so we reprised it. And it was great! Again! AND (this is the best part ...) I won! WOO-HOO! Cheers to me! The top back stabbin', shelter hoggin', zombie poppin' king o' the board! POW! Bring on the walkin' dead! I'm armed and ready to go!

Game 3:"Cthulu Dice"
Roll the bone and bet you brains. You get 3. Lose your brains and you're insane but not out! Winner is the last one with a firing neuron. Fast, simple and fun. What more could you want? Inexpensive? Yeah ...it's that too!
Dr. K took the first round and clearly came too close to the edge of madness from the encounter to draw back in time. Easy there doc! Keep telling yourself: "It's just a game,IT'S JUST A GAME!!!!"
This is smilin' me after winnnin' the second go round! Why no mad stare from moi? Far too close to the borders of sanity on a daily basis to let yet another dance on the edge disturb me! See you in November!


September tries

Game one: "Sky Runner"
Neato! Build a 3 story skyscraper and then climb it, all the while trying to keep the competition from getting topside before you.
The climb is controlled by cards. Opponents can be foiled by playing equipment failure cards

It's also possible to hoist yourself up on other players backs. None of these cunning strategies were employed by yours truly who brought home the win. See me grin! Yeah! I just held back and gathered equipment while the others tore at each others lines and when the time was ripe I climbed like a monkey on fire! Just call me "Topper"! (Helps if the game is yours and you can scan the rules in advance.) Fun! Play it again sometime.

Game two:"Zombie Dice"

Roll the dice until you bang out your brains. Last man left with most brains wins.

Above we see the winner and our own version of Al Einstein. Doesn't speak well for the overall I.Q. rating of the game gang but hey ...it's about the fun not the thought!
Game three:"Duel"
Below Dr. Kirby wracks his top knot trying to mesmer a move. Giant dice are lined up and rolled the number of dots showing in a straight line or a one turn line. Tumbling on the adversaries die takes it off the board. Normal gigantic six sided dice are used except the one kingping die which has one dot on all six sides. Capture it and you win.
It's possible to almost smell the light curls of smoke issuing from Dr. Kirby's ears as he struggles with the complexity of the game board in the photo above.
All to no avail. The devious "D" dices the Doc and ends the game with mitts full of square triumph! Odd, as the other pic made it look like Dr. K was the burgundy boy. Hmmm ...have to look into that!
Game four:"Hooked"

A"fish for all" in this Minnesota original. Get the lures and leeches guys! 3 boats venture forth onto the lake trying to land lunkers. It's all in the cards. We played 2 teams versus me! Guess who lost? Yeah ...no problem figuring that out. Spent all my time dockside moanin' about my dry line.
Above are the winners, Ahab and Starbuck gloating over the tuna tin. Nice work Swabs! Don't forget to "mount" the trophy! See you next month!
,