Friday, January 14, 2011

The World Wide Web is Our Oyster

Don't know about you, my buckaroos, but I've always kind of thought of this blog as a closely guarded secret, viewed mainly by the Game Kings themselves, past & present, if that. Well, not so fast, Wyatt Earp. Seems that the Kings are an international phenomenon:

Amazing, no? Game buffs from around the world, checking out the one-of-a-kind boardgame action here in our own major midwestern railroad hub. What do you suppose brought these eager eyes around these parts?


Oh... I see. Breasts. Well, come for the breasts, stay for the unbelievably witty gaming. Of course my Pubilius Syrus post is also a big hit. No tits there. Just sensible and fail-proof tips for getting lucky. But then this guy got a few hits too:



Easy ladies. Boy's taken.


Thursday, January 13, 2011

New Agin!

Game Number one: "Incan Gold"
An actual new bought game to start the young annum aright. Goodie! Dr Kirby brought this one in. Here we see Blame Games 2 card hand at the ready to explore an Incan temple and make off with the "jools" before any other Independant Jones can beat him to the goods. Cards are laid out on a "temple pyramid" format. Players then enter and see who can hang around longest and pick up the most treasure. First out picks up all the loose gems on the path. Other gems are divided equally amongst the hardy archeaologists (i.e. robbers) who hang in. If two of the same hazard cards are drawn everyone left in the temple gets bupkiss. This goes on for 5 rounds and then whoever has amassed the biggest pile of loot in his tent wins.

Here we see the happy king o' thieves hisself, Blame Game. Walked away lucky with a hillock of precious stealin's. A good romp although low on the scale of factual historical tutelage. (Like the crew cares about that!)
Game two: "Trade Winds"
Avast me hearty's! Here be yet another entry in a long list of piratical testings! An oldie moldy to boot. This dates from 1960 practically a time when the Spanish Main was still beset by buccaneers!
Each player gets their own ship and home port to which they try and ship loads of gold, rum, pearls and jewels. Port raids! Broadsides! Foul weather, Plague! DAAARGH! This be the stuff of sailin'!


Here we see Cap'n Red Frog lootin' the central Isle of it's booty! Smart as paint he was and showed the whole crew how a game of freebootery should be played!



Yes, he brought back to home port all the gold dubloons his galleon could carry and scuppered the bilge rats around him! Good fer ye,Cap'n Red Frog! And may home port always be a cove of rest and comfort for yer salty bones! Arrgh!




Late Date Can't Wait!


Game First: "Carcassone"
Did I spell it right? No time to meditate! Let's get to the review! This one is a popular and expandable table top game. Squares are added to squares to build a medieval world of wonder. Tokens are place to claim real estate in various formats (thieves, monks, royalty[?], etc.) This charmer came recommended by one of our dear gamer's daughter. Here we can see fate's fickle fingers placing a "carcass" (hence the name, I guess) on the field of play. Take that, mi'lord!
All around this was an easy and fun player inspite of the lack of ye olde pillage, rapine, plunder and plague. Having won the game makes it easier to recommend too. See me smile!
Game Twice: uh ..."Baloonacy"?, "Inflato-race"?, "Up, Up and Aiee"?
OK. So I can't recall what this one was called. Sue me. It was fun. Players each take their balloon and try to be first to fly to the moon the whole while foiling foes rise. Gas! Grappling hooks! Bad weather! All this and card play too. Yours truly couldn't float to the top on this one and I think our winner was that great gas bag we see checking the back side of his marker for excess sandbags in bafflement below.





A clean victory, but please don't let it inflate your ego. Try and rise above such things, hmmm?
Game Three-o: "The Partridge Family"
Thank Chet pics are worth a thousand words so I won't have to waste verbage deriding this sad waste of corrugated board. Ken Kesey can be held accountable for inspiring the insipid to drive around in busses and act like they're having fun sans illicit substances. Would that we were able to alter our conciousness to avoid facing the reality of this ...THING!



(Too ashamed to show his full face. He brought this in!)



The character line up. Ma Partrige and her brood, notably including David Cassidy and Danny Bonaduce. BRRR!





The WINNAH! Yep, brought it home in a basket with the help of MA herse'f. Great work Mrs. P. I never want to see this thing again!
And that's a wrap for '10! Let's try and be more consistent in our postage next year, alright Blame Game?






Lay Up Your Treasures

Treasure is value removed from circulation. When it circulated it was just money which, of course, engenders a lust of its own. Money may grow over time due to its ability to be employed as productive capital and so lay claim to the surplus value extracted from labor.

Pirate Treasure

Buried treasure, as the bible tells us, has no such power and so is condemned everywhere but in the heart of the miser where it is seen as power without risk. It lies always ready to do his bidding but never consumed or exposed to a hostile market.

Heathen Idol

Time plays a double game on buried treasure. Its circulating sibling draws interest and grows. Of course it may also fall prey to piracy and panic but on average, over time, it increases. And so, relatively, the buried value diminishes.

Pirate Island

As the hoarder grows old and forgetful and, finally, dies, perhaps taking the location of his hoard to the grave, treasure disappears.

Treasure Temple

But, if we speed up our capitalist time machine, we might see a general thinning out of value. Production grows exponentially but the metallic base grows more slowly. While a dormant bank account withers (and, in the modern financial world, will almost certainly disappear) the classic forms of treasure may often become more valuable. If they are marked in time, if, that is, we can distinguish them as survivors while their contemporaries are known to be destroyed or lost they may also gain value by their rarity.

Incan Gold

None of which makes for an enjoyable Game Night, just a dull essay. What is it that really gets our peckers up about treasure?

The Mad Pirate

The key to the "charm" of treasure is the break in the chain of title. Classical economics teaches us that value is exchanged for equal value in the system as a whole. What's the fun in that? Might as well play Monopoly. Treasure represents something for nothing, an instance of a pre-market, mythical transaction. Before the child understands trade she understands finding and taking. Finding the lost and abandoned and taking without payment, the principles of archeology and piracy.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Windbags Over the Midwest...

I Digress...
A minor digression
In pursuit of the Black Baron
Mannequins in iron lungs
Skateboards in amber
Scent of dirty fingernails on a greased blackboard
Exploding tarantula cactus.
Ruben Kincaid!
Ruben Kincaid!
Why must Danny always pay for his machinations?
Little men of painted wood
How you toil in the fields
And on roads, infested with thieves
In cities do you take up cloister
And practice your arcane rites
It is land you seek
And land you shall have
Except for the Man in Red
Momma's boy
Boy's momma
Humanoids from the West
Prefabricated culture
Icons
Youcons
Themcons
There's no Icon in Teamcon
Oedipal complexions
In a painted bus
Ruben Kincaid!
Ruben Kincaid!
Where is Ruben Kincaid?
Mom wins again
My eyes are up here, Keith...